“You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” – “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” – Love – a keyword – something we are looking for – something which is essential – and it is a word we hear all the time - Love not Hate – Love not war – Just love – it does not matter whom you love as long as you love – the word love gets thrown around all the time – with all the slogans, one might think we live in the most loving society of all time … - yet were is that love?
There is an epidemic of loneliness – each person isolated from everyone else – then there is the mental health crisis – more money being spent on mental health than ever – yet the problem only gets worse – something is not working – and read the news – look at some comments on the internet – check out social media – or for your own sake, perhaps not – for no love is found anywhere in sight.
Then there are rallies, particularly around the month of June, that declare the importance of love – love everyone - but be around them – see the pictures and videos – listen to the speeches – and no love is found – the anger, hatred, and aggression can be shocking – the push to fight, to conquer, to destroy is seen – but no love – no happiness is seen. Where is it? – the word is used all the time – yet rarely witnessed – why? - perhaps we do not know what the word really means.
St Thomas Aquinas gave a famous definition of the word love – “to will the good of the other as other.” – A simple description - with three elements that reveal the nature of love. The first thing to note: love is a verb, not a noun – to will is an action - so often when we talk of love, we think of feelings – and emotions are important and must be considered and not ignored – and there are feelings of love – but emotions are not infallible, they can err – and they will fail - no one can promise to maintain a feeling - one can promise to love – a parent does not always have an incredible feeling of love for a child who just knocked yet another glass of the table, breaking the 3rd glass in one day – it is a feeling of frustration and anger – yet they still love their child - they can love anyways for love is a verb, an action – to will the good of the other as other – this can always be done, no matter the feelings.
Second, love is “of the other as other” – it is self-gift – It is easy to think of the benefits of loving – and they are many – but they only exist because it is not about the benefits– all too often, love becomes about what I get – yet that is not love- that is a business exchange – again returning parents and children – What does a parent get from loving their child – significant new expenses - a lack of sleep – a lot of hard work– and increased stress – yet no parent would give that up – for parents love their child – it is not about what they get – and paradoxically, this is where great joy and happiness is found - for it not about benefits.
Third, love is about the “good” – often we hear of “affirming” someone – but that is only loving if it is towards somewhere good – it is not loving to affirm someone in driving towards a cliff; instead, you urge them back. Often, the most loving words a parent can say to a child is NO! – don’t touch the stove, it will burn – no, you cannot be on social media; it is harmful, as more and more research is showing – no, you cannot watch that movie – no, it is detrimental to play so many computer games – A parents love is shown most in discipline and correction – guiding a child away from evil and towards the good – affirmation matters a lot - but is only loving when it is towards the good.
And here lies one of the big problems today! – what is the good? – Tolerance is seen as the good – so often love is seen as affirming someone for what they represent themselves as – yet is that loving? – As GK Chesterton put it in The Everlasting Man, “Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.” – it is not loving to tolerate error, – sin, evil or mutilation of the body – to affirm someone in evil, sin, or suffering is evil – it is not loving – but at best an indifference to another’s suffering – at worst an odd hatred – but if affirmation and tolerance are not the good, where do we find the good? – In God!
We do not get to define the good – for it is not us, but God who is the creator of the heavens and the earth – the creator of all that is good – the source of all goodness – in fact, goodness itself – As St John puts it – “God is Love” – there is a reason the greatest command its first - “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” – without it, there is nothing else but arbitrary whims – love is not possible - To love God – to will the good of God as other – is to recognize that God is our creator - the source of goodness – to praise and worship God for the sake of who he is.
Further, it is only in Christ, the second person of the Trinity, that we indeed come to understand what it means to be human – what is for our good -what is our purpose – for it is Christ who did not tolerate sin and death – he did not seek acceptance - but died and rose from the dead for us – not to accept or affirm in sin and evil, but to call us to conversion, to redemption, healing, to God himself - It is this light that the second greatest commandment comes to be possible – “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”– not mere tolerance or affirmation – but the good as a human being called to conversion – to be with God.
The focus in the world today on love is not wrong – indeed, we live in a world in need of love – yet for all the words of love, it is lacking, for what it means to love is lost - for what the good is; is lost – the purpose of the human person is lost. – so what is the answer? – looking to Christ: to love – to will the good of the other as other – not seeking to be liked, or acceptance – not going for toleration – but to will the good of the other – even if, as is so often the case, that means proclaim NO – for love is the answer the world needs – even if the world does not understand its meaning